Friday, April 15, 2011

well, that changes things


april 9, 2011. i stand behind the alter watching the back side of scooter's head as he watches his beautiful bride walking down the aisle. toward him. incredibly gorgeous in the wedding gown. but then, she's a gorgeous girl to begin with.

i cannot even imagine the sense of pride scooter felt. i can, however, fully comprehend the pride that coursed through me. my son, the one i thought i'd never have, the one i thought i might lose when he was 7, had really grown. he's taking a bride. and one day he'll likely be watching as his own son ties the proverbial knot as well.

anyone who's read any of my blog posts, the corny ones, the emotional ones, even a comical one or two, knows that i have a special relationship with scooter. but even then i was shocked when, a few weeks after announcing his engagement, he came to me and asked if i would be his "best man". what? my son asking me to stand up for him? i was stunned. yeah, i've always considered him my best friend. but the boy has lots of friends, his age, or nearly. what would make him ask me? never mind. i didn't want to ask that for fear he'd change his mind. that moment, when he asked me that question, stands among the proudest moments of my life. my short, full, life.

i immediately accepted. what an honor. my son's best man. what greater tribute can a son pay his father?

so i was there. up close and personal as scooter and tracie exchanged vows. it was an extremely emotional moment. somehow i managed to maintain my composure. got through it with just a hint of bleary eyes. i was nearly as proud of myself as i was of him.

and then came the reception. and not too far into it, the father/daughter dance. didn't impact me, did it? well, yeah, somewhat. i've been through that before. the first time, adri, the song was "daddy's little girl". i didn't know the words. and figured i'd simply cruise through a dance. by the end of the first verse we were both sobbing.

then came tori. and the same song. i was more prepared. still had a breakdown, but not nearly as severe as the first time.

but watching tracie and her dad dance brought a lot of that back. and i wasn't totally re-composed when the music stopped, started again, and the dj announced the groom/mother dance. and bette midler began singing "wind beneath my wings". did you ever know you were my hero? crap, i nearly lost it then. but i was in a dark corner. not an eye in the joint was on me.

so i got through all that. it was good. it was nice. lots of friends and family. wish more could have been with us. but those that could be there were there. and then it was over. scooter and tracie were whisked out to a limo, off to a hotel, and flew out early the next day for a fun filled honeymoon in san diego.

and through it all, i've been fine. but today scooter comes home from the honeymoon. they fly in any moment now, in fact. and for the first time i've had the startling realization that, when he gets home, he's her best friend now. no longer mine.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

it is what it is


i often wonder how the silly cliche's we use today ever originate. personally, i think for a long time most started with oprah. women watch her show, and phrases like "don't go there", "don't even go there" seem to be used, abused, in too many dialogs.

when my kids were i high school, the annoying term was "like". boog would come home from school and say something like . . . "jessica and i were like walking home and this guy like whistled." and as was my attempt to curb her from continuing the speech habit, i would ask something like . . . "was he "like whistling"? or was he really whistling?" after dozens of these attempts, i think boog was able to pretty much strike the "like" from her daily vocabulary.

thanks to oprah, again, my opinion, my wife and others all too frequently would use "don't go there/don't even go there". my developed response to this phrase was . . . "i'm not going anywhere. i'm standing right here before you talking. where do you think i'm going?" with slightly lesser results, but i try.

now the most over-used phrase in the american english language, in my humble opinion (imho, as i've learned, is the way that's expressed on facebook. i'm not a fan of abbreviating, so i'll fore go that.), is "it is what it is". huh? duh! what is that supposed to mean?

literally, "it is what it is" is a true statement of fact. everything is what it is. why bother stating that?

but what is generally meant by those that use/abuse the phrase is "that's the way it is and it can't be changed, so just accept it". i hear it so much at work, at play, at home, in the mall, it nearly infuriates me. it is what it is, my ass.

how many of us have seen that, just perhaps, there may be a better way of doing a certain task. at work. at home. in the grocery store. and all too often when we suggest that a procedure, a method, can be improved, we're simply told, "it is what it is". which really translates, in most instances, to "that's the way we've done it for a long time and i have not the time, the energy, or the know how to change it". but who's gonna admit that.

for some crazy reason i remember a news broadcast i saw way back in 1968. bobby kennedy was giving some kind of campaign speech. the one statement that struck me then, that sticks with me now, is this: "some see things as they are and ask why. i dream things that never were, and ask why not?" if more would adapt that kind of attitude, we'd never again hear the dreaded "it is what it is".

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

snow day

THIS IS LOOKING SOUTH FROM OUR FRONT DOOR (THROUGH THE GLASS STORM DOOR, I DIDN'T GO OUT.) DECEIVING AS THERE IS NOT MUCH SNOW ACCUMULATED ON CARS. HOWEVER, WINDS GUSTING TO 60 HAVE MOVED THAT SNOW INTO THE YARDS AND STREETS. THE DRIFT NEAR THE MAILBOX IS PROBABLY 15 INCHES. GUESSING THAT THE DRIFT IN THE CUL DE SAC IS 18 INCHES.


they're calling it a blizzard. perhaps worse than the christmas eve blizzard in 2009. worse because of the extreme cold temperatures. it's 8:32 a.m. real temperature is 9. wind gusting 40-60, meaning when you apply finnegan's finagling factor, the resulting wind chill is somewhere between 15 and 20 below zero. at that rate, frostbite begins to occur in 18 minutes. good to just stay inside.

the oklahoma city metro area has now had, depending on the exact area, between 7 and 12 inches of snow. roads are extremely slick. aided, no doubt, by the short period of freezing rain just before the snow started. not the best conditions to be driving through.

this kind of weather isn't really foreign to me. having lived in flagstaff for 18 years, i've traveled successfully in conditions like this, or worse even. but here it's a little different.

been watching the local news broadcasts all morning. just heard that the city has 25 snow plows. huh? for a city this size? flagstaff had near a hundred. of course, the frequency of these storms is much greater in flag. not a lot of need for them here. but that explains why very few roads are plowed. only major thoroughfares. and then, early on they only plow those that are designated "snow plowed routes".

what that means to me is that the neighborhood streets are pretty snowy. our cul de sac has drifts that i'd guess would be 18 inches deep. consistent level of 6 or so inches. and, as mentioned, i've driven in much worse. so most likely, driving slowly, cautiously, i have no doubt i could make the twelve mile drive to work. why then, have i declared it a snow day?

well, while i have a real high level of confidence in my ability to drive through these conditions, i'm not so sure about the other's guys ability. and having watched the "on street" tv reporters, it's abundantly clear that there are a lot of inexperienced foul weather drivers out there. and they can cause problems for others just as much as for themselves. further, again as evidenced by the tv reports, there are a lot of idiots out there. you know the type. they drive four wheel drive suv's and have an air of omnipotence. good traction justifies higher speed. and they appear to scoff at the cautious drivers as they speed by.

i lived in flagstaff for 18 years. i've seen these "idiots" before. i had an 8 mile drive to town on i-17 for several years. it always tickled me to see a nice, new escalade zip by my two wheel drive pickup on the freeway. more times than not, within a couple of miles i'd see that escalade in the median. buried in the deep snow. sometimes rolled over on its side. sometimes upside down. that four wheel drive grip will cause over overconfidence, you see. and what they don't realize is . . . ok they have greater traction. but when it comes to turning, stopping, they're no better than the rest of us. and their cockiness is rewarded by a crash.

so considering those people are out in good numbers, i've chosen to stay home today. well, that, together with the fact that the governor had declared a "state of emergency". both the governor and the mayor are asking all non-essential workers to stay home. don't risk the drive. i think that's a good idea. and i consider my work "non-essential".

the governor felt so strongly about this that she declared this state of emergency at about 4 p.m. yesterday. shortly there after our company vice president sent a mass email to all employees - asking us to be cautious, but do everything we can to get there. huh? is he kidding. i'm a loyal employee. i have a very good work ethic. but i'm a bit appalled that he would ask us to endanger ourselves in these conditions. wonder if he drives a four wheel drive suv.