Friday, April 15, 2011

well, that changes things


april 9, 2011. i stand behind the alter watching the back side of scooter's head as he watches his beautiful bride walking down the aisle. toward him. incredibly gorgeous in the wedding gown. but then, she's a gorgeous girl to begin with.

i cannot even imagine the sense of pride scooter felt. i can, however, fully comprehend the pride that coursed through me. my son, the one i thought i'd never have, the one i thought i might lose when he was 7, had really grown. he's taking a bride. and one day he'll likely be watching as his own son ties the proverbial knot as well.

anyone who's read any of my blog posts, the corny ones, the emotional ones, even a comical one or two, knows that i have a special relationship with scooter. but even then i was shocked when, a few weeks after announcing his engagement, he came to me and asked if i would be his "best man". what? my son asking me to stand up for him? i was stunned. yeah, i've always considered him my best friend. but the boy has lots of friends, his age, or nearly. what would make him ask me? never mind. i didn't want to ask that for fear he'd change his mind. that moment, when he asked me that question, stands among the proudest moments of my life. my short, full, life.

i immediately accepted. what an honor. my son's best man. what greater tribute can a son pay his father?

so i was there. up close and personal as scooter and tracie exchanged vows. it was an extremely emotional moment. somehow i managed to maintain my composure. got through it with just a hint of bleary eyes. i was nearly as proud of myself as i was of him.

and then came the reception. and not too far into it, the father/daughter dance. didn't impact me, did it? well, yeah, somewhat. i've been through that before. the first time, adri, the song was "daddy's little girl". i didn't know the words. and figured i'd simply cruise through a dance. by the end of the first verse we were both sobbing.

then came tori. and the same song. i was more prepared. still had a breakdown, but not nearly as severe as the first time.

but watching tracie and her dad dance brought a lot of that back. and i wasn't totally re-composed when the music stopped, started again, and the dj announced the groom/mother dance. and bette midler began singing "wind beneath my wings". did you ever know you were my hero? crap, i nearly lost it then. but i was in a dark corner. not an eye in the joint was on me.

so i got through all that. it was good. it was nice. lots of friends and family. wish more could have been with us. but those that could be there were there. and then it was over. scooter and tracie were whisked out to a limo, off to a hotel, and flew out early the next day for a fun filled honeymoon in san diego.

and through it all, i've been fine. but today scooter comes home from the honeymoon. they fly in any moment now, in fact. and for the first time i've had the startling realization that, when he gets home, he's her best friend now. no longer mine.